(it is late and i am exhausted.. this might not be coherent!) 

thanks to patrick collum and the law for the subject of my blog.  it’s a line from their song casey.  from what i gather (from the lyrics and from knowing the guys and hearing stories), casey was in the band but gave it up for a more steady job.

so many thoughts swirling in my head tonight!  some are based on my own life and some are based on the lives of my friends and conversations i’ve had lately.

i think they can all be summed up in one question: when do you give up on a dream?

it’s such a hard balance between feeling as though something feels impossible and trusting God that He can provide.

tonight i thought about what my life & actions would look like if i REALLY believed that a particular dream i have could come true.

my actions would be drastically different.

wow.

it was a harsh reality.  it was eye-opening to realize that i only pretend to trust him.

and what keeps coming back to me is “let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

i am terrible TERRIBLE at memorizing but i am so thankful that i have this verse committed to memory now.  it is a huge comfort when i realize my heart is in the wrooooong place and full of doubt and fear.  it wakes me up to the fact that i do have a God that loves me unconditionally and wants to challenge and grow me  – not give me every comfort i could ask for.

so while i continue to hope in my dreams, i know that he has a plan and i trust in that.  so if i ever DO give up on a dream, i know that there is something even better waiting in the wings because he has orchestrated it.

and so i pray for my friend who contemplates giving up music, i pray for my single friends who hope to find love, i pray for my unhappy coworkers, i pray for my community of believers who struggle, i pray for my friends who don’t know Jesus… and i trust that “this too shall pass” and God will grant wisdom and discernment and answers.  and his plan will be revealed.  and dreams will be realized.

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