i am feeling so susceptible to the enemy’s lies today.  i’m not at peace.  my self-esteem feels shattered.  my self-worth is hinging on what people think of me.  i can feel that my validity as a person depends on who does or doesn’t talk to me and what they do or don’t say.  this is ridiculous.  i know the truth and i know that this is just an attack and it won’t last.  i know who i am, i know where my identity lies.  it’s just so hard sometimes to hold to that truth.

sometimes i hate how social networking can really alienate people.  it’s meant to bring us “together” but really can serve as a tool for pushing us even further apart.

i’m dealing with envy and idolatry.  and i hate it!  i want to feel peace.  i’ve prayed off and on this morning, asking forgiveness for the jealousy, asking for help in dealing with the feelings i don’t want to feel.  i don’t want to resent people.  i don’t want to waver in my identity and feel less worthy because so-and-so didn’t say such-and-such.

listening to jon foreman right now in hopes of getting a grip on myself.  “don’t let the panic bring you down” was the lyric repeating as i was typing that last line.  father, please don’t let the panic bring me down.